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The Buffoon & The Valedictorian lyrics
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And now the buffoon’s date at the drive-in with the school’s valedictorian. Valedictorian: I really appreciate you’re asking me out. most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement. Buffoon: this movie sucks shit! Valedictorian: well, ebel gave it thumbs up, but ciscel thought it was too preachy. anyway, I enjoyed the director’s last film immensly. Buffoon: cathleen turner has big fuckin’ tits! Valedictorian: yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn’t she? Buffoon: I put a firecracker in a bullfrog’s mouth and blew his fuckin’ head off. Valedictorian: well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process. Buffoon: that girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head. Valedictorian: well, I guess she’s strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it. [buffoon eating popcorn] Buffoon: this popcorn’s fuckin’ terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it. [buffoon continues to eat popcorn] Valedictorian: well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a Dish prank. Buffoon: I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. it blew my fuckin’ mind! Valedictorian: it’s ironic that parts of one’s body seems odd and unusual because you don’t see them on a day to day basis. Buffoon: my father’s shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin’ day! Valedictorian: it’s puzzling why one person’s fecal odor can be more overpowering than another’s. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person’s internal metabolis Ot; Buffoon: I’m gonna go get head from that fuckin’ girl. [gets out of the car] Valedictorian: well, I’m sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion. [buffoon walking away] I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue. Buffoon: I like to piss in that guy’s fuckin’ gas tank! Valedictorian: bye bye! have fun. [buffoon continues to walk away]  More Adam Sandler Song Lyrics
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